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I'm just constantly anxious of losing people I've loved. Only because I've lost so many already. A big flaw I have, is that when I love, I love so much. The pieces of my heart are with those I love. Family, friends, lovers. I can't even describe how much love I have in me. I'm just so full of it, that it becomes dangerous. To love, so much. Sometimes it's just jealousy, but most of the time is just me being afraid. It might seem like I have a lot of people in my life but to be frank, I only love a few. And this few, I will hold forever. The only problem is I'm not a fighter. And I don't fight for the my place in their lives. I just watch them forget me as the day goes by. Terrible.
I passed by this quote from the lips of a mastermind, Vincent Van Gogh, "I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process". I felt it was beautiful. How much this man put himself in his passion, and ends up losing himself. Could this reflect what I am currently emotional experiencing? I put out too much of myself & lose so much in return. I want to be me if only I knew who 'me' was. I know who I want to be, though. But is who I want to be, me?
I've decided that I will limit in putting my thoughts out of it's place(my mind). If ever I feel like letting them lose, I'll write them down & seal it in a jar. Yes, my very own jar of thoughts.
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